Summer Job?

I was sitting in the examination room at the MedSport Clinic in Ann Arbor with my son, and he objected to my reading People.  He handed me instead a magazine with the enticing title of Successful Farming (it was that or Teen Vogue).  I thought the classifieds had some interesting entries.  One was for “After Dinner Speaker”, guaranteeing “overall wit and wisdom.”  I thought I could do that.

There was also this:

Wanted JD Combine Operators, and Kenworth Truck Drivers for 2007 harvest.  May to November.  Willing to train.  Grove Harvesting.  [phone numbers].

I’m assuming JD equals John Deere, but I thought it was cool anyway.  (When I showed it to my son, he said “Soylent Green is lawyers!”)

ADDENDUM:  One other thing.  I have typical male-pattern blindness (ask my wife), but in some circumstances I can get hyper-observant.  There was a “pain guide” on the wall by which you were supposed to estimate pain level.  Zero pain was signified by a full grin Smiley Face.  At full bore pain of ten, the Smiley Face was in sheer torture, its mouth shaping a scream and tears running down its yellow visage.  But the neutral Smiley Face was at about six, and even at two, which was “moderate pain,” the Smiley Face still had a half-grin.  I thought there was something wrong with a chart that had the Smiley Face smiling at any pain.

[Jeff Lipshaw]